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I’m gonna give all my secrets away

August 8, 2010

A realization:

Maybe the reason I hate the idea of being alone so much is because I’m afraid. I never feel safe. I could say something here about how I’ve been hurt, physically, by people I’ve trusted and how I feel that I keep giving myself away and if no one comes along to give back…I might just keep giving until I’m drained. But I don’t want to. I have this horrible fear of ending up alone and defeated and at someone’s mercy. I don’t want my body to be at someone’s mercy. I just want someone to be the man and keep me safe. Someone to let me stop for just a few minutes. I never stop.

I need to stop.

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